I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
