i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
lol hangovers are for mortals.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
