dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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