i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You made out with two different species that night
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i now understand why vodka
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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