it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Randomize