So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
