I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
