Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
