Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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