I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
