Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
