I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
