3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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