Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
