Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
