Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
