How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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