you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Houston, we have a squirter
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
