he shaved USA in his pubs
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
