you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
