I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize