My balls are so social today.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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