I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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