Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize