the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
