We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
