make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
