...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
