went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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