Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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