Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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