I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
