hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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