dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
