ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
