he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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