Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
