whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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