During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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