i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
