Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
