I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
