so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
