dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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