Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize