she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I believe in your delicious
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
