one might say we're banned from that church
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
