Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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