Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
nutella sex= disaster
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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