her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
