Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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