Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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