The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
