we made out on top of his cat.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
