one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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