he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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