your parents love me but you hate me
Jerry, you need to find god
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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