Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
