I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
