Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We have so much sex to catch up on
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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