Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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