We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
