He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
