Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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