Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
