C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize