We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
