so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
