Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize