Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
