theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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