it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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