Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
