Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
