i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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