It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
