what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
