soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
