How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
