Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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