Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
